Crazy in Love
by Kydwykkyd24
Summary: Harley's been arrested while trying to get a gift for her Puddin'. How will Mista J rescue her and will she get out of Arkham? Good read, promise!
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, this is my first Harley/Joker story. Their relationship is not based on what it typically is in the comics. He does not disrespect her, and she come crawling back. They are a perfect match for each other and mutually respect one another. (So no flames on that please.) If Joker seems a little OOC, please let me know, as he was a hard character to write for. All in all, I want you to enjoy and please let me hear your thoughts!**

 **Chapter 1**

It was a dark and stormy night in Gotham City. The Joker had been in his study plotting his next scheme to kill the Bat. Harley was left all alone in the warehouse with nothing to do. She had been trying to entertain herself but it wasn't working.

"Ughhhh," she whined, "There's nothing to do in this stupid place!"

She hopped off the couch where she was sitting upside down and went into her enormous closet.

"How 'bout a little dress up?" She teased herself. She skipped all around the room trying to put together the cutest outfit.

"Hmm… Now what would my Puddin' like?"

She found her old fishnets with a red booty shorts and her favorite "Mista J" t-shirt which was cut accordingly to her assets.

"Where are my stinkin' boots?" She hollered. Frantically digging around her shoes collection which was organized at one point. Even though Joker was evil, sinister, and diabolical, he treated her like a queen. Everything had to be perfect for his doll. They both were criminally insane, but they respected each other and couldn't be anymore of a perfect match.

"Aha!" She finally found her black leather boots with a sharp point for a 6 inch heel. Strutting her way over to her vanity, she plopped down in her chair and began curling her hair and applying her makeup.

"I'll get all dolled up for my Puddin', go hotwire him a nice car, and have a nice romantic evening.

Harley confidently marched out the door and began walking her way down the streets of Gotham looking for a sporty car good enough for her Puddin'. She came across the real shady part of town where three guys were leaning against a purple car, tricked out to no end, with lime green underglow.

" _Hmm... ,"_ she evilly glared.

One of the guys noticed her staring at them.

"Hey, Dollface," he cat-called, "Come over here and give Daddy a little kiss."

She giggled amusingly.

"Say, buddy," she began flirting her way over there, "That's a real nice car ya got there. Mind if I take it for a spin?"

He looked around to his friends as if it was a joke.

"What's in it for me?"

"Anything you want, baby," she got real close to his face, teasing a kiss.

Just then he grabbed her and flung her to the side of the brick wall.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this," he said pressing her forcefully. She began giggling.

"What's so funny? You better pucker up for Daddy."

"Don'tcha know who I am?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah it mattahs! And you ain't my 'Daddy'!" As quick as a flash, she kneed him in the groin, ducked under him, round house kicked his head to where he fell on the ground, whipped out her revolver and shot him in the knee.

"Name's Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!"

His other two friend ls lunged at her to try and take her down.

"Ohhh, you wanna play too?" She gleefully asked, shooting each of them in the abdomen.

"Awh," she whined, "Game ovah…."

She turned on her heel, got in and hot wired the car, and sped off.

"Call the cops on that crazy bitch!" The driver of the now stolen car yelled.

"Whoooo!" She hollered as she zipped through traffic and lights.

She noticed she had a black car behind her, gaining up fast.

"Oh boy! B-Man has come to play! Ya wanna race?!" She punched it into the gear hoping to lose him, but being Batman, he was hot on her tail. Without warning, he was suddenly on the hood of the car, punching through the glass to get at her. She tried to reach for her gun, but he'd already yanked her out of the seat and turned the wheel to crash the car into a cinder block wall, avoiding injury to and bystanders. Grappling up to the nearest structure, he perched over the city with Harley still in his hands, dangling to the city below.

"'Sup B-Man? Ya wanna play with ya Harley? You know I've always got a soft spot ya. You and your muscles…" She gently stroked his forearm. He yanked her up by the shirt and threw her on the ground of the escape ladder.

"You're going away, Quinn. Don't you think you should've learned your lesson by now?"

"I never learn my lesson," she grinned, lunging at him. She pounced him to the ground and kissed him.

"Let me in that suit! I'll show ya a real good time! Promise!"

He quickly reached for his utility belt and had her tied up in an instant. He stood up, wiping his mouth.

"If I had a dollar for every time you've kissed me…"

She giggled maniacally.

The authorities arrive shortly to take her away, Joker still unaware she even left the warehouse.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Harley was taken to no other place than Arkham Asylum.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Harley was pushed around the the entire facility, no one caring about tenderness or politeness.

"Just get in your cell, Harley," the guard begged.

"C'mon, Joe," she whined, "Why we gotta be so hostile to each other? I thought we were friends? 'Member?" She winked.

"Yes, Harley," he whispered, "But not while there's cameras and other guards around, you know that."

"Alright, Mista Joe. I'll see you later," she winked.

Back at the warehouse, Joker had decided he had enough planning for one night and went to go find his favorite little jester.

"Harley!" He called, grinning because he knew she like to hide and then surprise him.

"Come on, Doll! Come to Daddy!"

After a couple minutes he figured she wasn't here, she usually started giggling after the second call.

He went into the bedroom and noticed her closet doors open revealing quite a mess. He rolled his eyes and knew she was out.

"Well, she'll be back soon enough," he sighed. He decided to go into the living room and watch the tv. At first sight, he saw police tapes being shuffled through the news broadcast. Aerial views from helicopters down to where the wrecked sports car could be seen along with flashing lights and caution tape. He knew instantly this had something to do with Harley. He raised an eyebrow and turned up the volume.

"Harley Quinn was seen here hijacking a car, only to be stopped by Batman and taken to Arkham Asylum."

Joker's eye started to twitch as he stared at the tv. A pre-recorded tape was shown of her being escorting into a police SUV where she could be heard yelling.

"Stupid cops! My Puddin' will come rescue me! I just wanted him to have a nice car and you're taking me to jail?! What's so wrong about that?! Puddin'! Help me!"

Joker was furious. He slammed his fist into the coffee table and threw the remote into the tv screen.

He rushed to his show room and grabbed all kinds of guns, radioing to his workers to get ready to break her out of jail.

"Alright, dumbasses. Listen up! Harley is in Arkham Asylum thanks to a certain SOMEBODY in a damn suit. She'd always kept in Cell Block 35B on the 2nd floor." He turned to his henchman with his sinister smile, "You think they'd learn by now that I always get my girl back." The henchman smiled evilly and nodded along with his boss.

"I want that place destroyed, freeing all inmates! Without injuring my Harley of course."

Joker crept up to the new guy of his crew.

"You don't want to let me down do you?" He smiled up into the new guy's face, making sure to frighten him. The new guard violently shaking his head "no".

"Good…" Joker whispered.

He backed up and stared at the entire crew, "What are you still doing here?! Go get her!" He commanded.

Joker made his way up to the top of the warehouse getting in his helicopter and suiting up.

At Arkham, it was always required to have a guard stand by the cells of the most criminally insane inmates. Harley typically had two, Joker however always had six.

"Ooooooo," she leaned up against the bars, "Who are you?!"

Her favorite guard, Joe, had walked up with a new member of the crew.

"Calm down, Harles," Joe replied, receiving a pouting face from the Queen of Gotham.

"But, Joe! I wanna play with him!" She moved up as close as she could to the bars, pressing her body into them.

"Don'tcha wanna play with me?" She begged, batting her eyes. The guard was already becoming mesmerized by her "hotness".

"Hey!" Joe snapped his fingers in the new guard's face, "Don't fall for it. She's an evil little bitch," Joe sneered. Harley squinted her eyes and turned on her heel to go to her bed.

"I'll be outta here soon!" She yelled to both.

"Yeah," Joe scoffed, "15 years is real soon, Harles."

Joker watched from the landed helicopter as a "Belle Reve" van was pulled up next to him. He climbed into the back and two of his men dressed in guard suits from the penitentiary sat upfront driving off towards the Asylum. As the car ride continued, he sat quietly amongst a whole army in the back of the van, twirling a butterfly knife. His Henchman with an earpiece leaned his direction and whispered.

"Boss, the bombs are set. We're ready to go."

Joker nodded in response, proceeding to put his "Belle Reve" helmet on which guarded his face. The van had made it through security clearance at the gate of Arkham and parked right outside the prisoner escort door. The twin doors opened and an army of men filed out. Six staying behind to stay with the van, and three going along with Joker inside the building.

"Kill anyone who gets in my way, blow the damn place up if you have to, but if anyone hurts my doll, I'll be sure you die a slow painful death." He yelled back to his men.

Joker kicked the door open and was surprised to see the hallway empty. He nodded his head in the direction they were to go. Up the stairs and through a large corridor, he led his team to the 30s of the institute.

Up ahead her loud voice could be heard, "Come on! Let me outta here! I didn't do nuthin'!"

The four men walked up to the two guards at her cell.

"We've been given orders to transport this prisoner to Belle Reve to be monitored under high security." Joker spoke, Harley the only one who knew who was under that mask.

"Says who?" Joe skeptically asked.

"Says my boss," Joker replied. Joe shrugged and sighed the "papers" he was given for prisoner transport.

"Take this cuckoo bird away," he unlocked her cell and stepped aside, motioning for the other guard to follow.

"Bye, Harles!" He flirtatiously waved, her waving back. Joker snapped and shot both the guards in the head. He opened the cell door, raising his visor to greet his love.

"Hi, Doll."

"Puddin'..." she hugged him, "You came for me."

"Of course I did, now come on, let's go home where we can have a little fun."

The team casually walked back down to the van, suspecting no one. Everyone filed into the back with Harley and drove off.

"That's it?" Harley asked as Joker took of his helmet. He smiled over to her.

"Uh uh," he pulled a detonator out of his pocket, "Care to do the honors my dear?"

She gasped out of excitement and mashed the button.

Out the window, the entire outside walls of the Asylum were seen blown open allowing every able-bodied prisoner to escape.

"Oh, Sweetie…" she cooed, "How romantic."

"Anything for you, Doll," he winked leaning in and they kissed passionately.

 **So, not too awful, right? Again, feedback is much appreciated. Didn't want to write my first Harley/Joker story and make it dreadfully long in case he was OOC. Like I said, he's a hard dude to write for :/**


End file.
